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Writer's pictureBryan Hertweck

Exactly!

Updated: Sep 7, 2022

Had a session with my therapist this morning and she encouraged me to write about a recent experience of mine somewhere—figured might as well throw it in the blog!


This "experience" ended up being summed up in session as "I got exactly what I wanted."


Huh?


When the hell does that actually happen?


For me and Alcoholisnt, it was yesterday.


The rubber has recently started meeting the road for the Alcoholisnt mission. The core of that mission involves providing financial support to help people struggling with alcohol get quality treatment they otherwise couldn't afford. My desire to do that stems from my own experience. I've had a lot of treatment for alcoholism over the years. How to pay for it was never much of a concern. I realize how fortunate I am and how rare that experience is. I'd love to be able to help make the decision to get help easier for those who are not so financially blessed.


I also would really like help people avoid some of the struggles I've face. Despite the common parlance, you don't have to hit "rock bottom" to get help and turn things around. There's going to be a bottom, but it doesn't have to be acute and drama-filled. And no matter how rocky it is, please let it only happen once!


Yesterday I had a phone conversation with a middle-aged man who had been referred to me by one of my treatment partners. He was in the admissions process for residential treatment to deal with his drinking. He legitimately wants help. He's pursued help in the past and had some success, but problems recur. I explained why I created Alcoholisnt and what we do. He was amazed and impressed.


He continued to describe his experience. He'd get on that wagon and have a great stretch of successful recovery. Then fall off. Dust himself off and hop back on. Rollercoaster.


Yeah, I get that. It's only failure if you don't try to learn from it and/or just give up.


He commented that he doesn't make sense to people how you can repeat that painful pattern that has obvious negative ramifications.


Yeah, I get that. The reward and choice systems of the addictive brain are wired differently.


He mentioned Kevin McCauley's work with Pleasure Unwoven and Memo to Self. Yep, I've seen both a couple times at least.


We just kept having a back and forth like that. We talked for 30 minutes.


In retrospect, it was kind of like I was talking to some version of myself from a few years ago.


Holy shit! Literally an opportunity to help someone avoid the pitfalls I've been through.


Exactly why Alcoholisnt exists.


And he was so appreciative. This guy has literally been living in his van. No financial decision is an easy one. Most aren't even really decisions. But Alcoholisnt is enabling him to get quality treatment. Near the end of the conversation he said his anxiety had come down unbelievable.


What a gift to be able to help in that way.


It's exactly what I wanted when I started this organization.


And I'm trying to bask in it. I'm not good at that. My therapist was trying to get me to do so in session and it was silly hard. My mind was trying to move on to fundraising, engaging more partners, helping more people.


But I got exactly what I wanted.


I'm gonna sit here in that for a bit.


Finally, during this National Recovery Month, please consider making a generous donation to Alcoholisnt!



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